A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
