YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
