Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
