Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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