Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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