So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
