As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
