I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
