I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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