Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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