Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
