RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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