Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
