Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
