everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
