The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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