she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
