lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
