she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
