HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
