Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
