she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
