After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
