it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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