he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
