so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
