kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
