Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
