so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
