Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
