I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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