New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
