nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
