we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
