so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Alive.
So much puke
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am available for nakedness
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
