Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
