She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Randomize
