I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
