I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
