just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
