morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
