I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
