I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
