so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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