This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
