Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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