We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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