Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
