but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
