I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
